One of my favorite cakes is the Half & Half – you know, the one where one side is chocolate and the other is yellow. Not only does it give me an option of which flavor I can choose, I am also free to come back for seconds and get a sliver of the other side. The benefit of choice – works out for everyone, right? Well…
Two colleagues, Lisa and Janet were being honored at an event, hosted by their employer, as they shared the same birth date. During the preparation, neither of them could agree on the kind of cake they wanted – Lisa wanted chocolate, while Janet desired yellow. Since they could not agree, the manager decided to order the Half & Half cake – a chocolate side for Lisa and a yellow side for Janet. The ladies were happy that the manager thought of each of their desires, but, instead of being grateful for the high esteem each were held, they began to focus on the cake that each other was eating. Lisa, made fun of Janet’s choice of “plain” cake, attributing her preference to her modest and old-fashioned style of dress. Janet, in the process of eating her cake, scolded Lisa on her choice of such an unhealthy taste for chocolate and the potential to add weight to her already full-figured body. The ladies spent so much time consumed with what she thought was wrong with the other’s perspective or choice, they forgot about the unified gathering in their honor and turned what was meant to be a celebration into chaos.
Lisa and Janet – our “right now”…
One of the beauties of Life is the freewill of choice. As individuals, we each will have different perspectives towards a particular matter, and will more than likely differ from even our closest colleagues, friends, or loved ones. I would like to think that we were each given our own brain, heart, desires, experiences, and lessons in order to bring them to the table and form a whole, complete package (just as the different parts of the human body do), but, instead, we have allowed the Power of Choice and the Gift of Diversity to not only separate us, but to somehow create this self-righteous aura of haughtiness towards those whose views and perspectives differ from our own.
Just as in the case of the cake, each one offers its own distinct flavor – and imperfection. In spite of Janet’s disparaging remarks about Lisa’s choice in chocolate, yellow cake has the same negative effect on the body because it, too, contains much sugar and fattening ingredients. As with Lisa and her ignorant stereotypical association of Janet’s modest appearance and countenance to her preference of yellow cake. Each tried to find something wrong with the other, though the plank of fault, flaw, and fat was beaming from their own eyes. Pharisaical, much? Sounds familiar?
As long as there are people, there will be differences – and within those differences, people will always take a side, a stance, a platform that most closely identifies with their own opinions. However, many of us have convinced ourselves that our way – or our side – is the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, and we completely disregard anything that opposes it. Yes we have become right in our own eyes. The ignored truth is that, if Man made it, there is something wrong WITH it, something biased ABOUT it, and something flawed IN it.
The major factor that defines the flaw in siding with one person against the other is the art of the “But What About…?” There is nothing definite about it, if you or I created it, no matter how positively or negatively it affects us. Reader, as adamant as you (or I) may be in a particular stance – whether emotional, financial, or even political – there is nothing perfect or exclusively correct about it, and leaves room for question and reconsideration. For instance, a component of the political Trunk platform considers the act of abortion as murder, which it is, but deems it unnecessary and senseless in ANY situation. Well, the “But What About” in this case would be of the 11-year old girl who was raped by a 41-year old man, and who is now carrying an unborn child that is causing her sickness, mental problems, and will kill her before she comes to term… A major concern of the Donk platform is the issue around murder committed with guns, and their determination to have them banned. Well, the “But What About” in this case is the rights of the responsible gun owners who are obligated to defend and protect their families, or who live in an area where they must hunt for food… Can’t you see the issues that arise from being unmovable on a shaky ground?!
Indeed we are “entitled” to our own opinions, views, perspectives, and stances, but NONE of us are completely right or perfectly aligned morally. Whether if you identify as a Donk, Trunk, or any other man-made group, business, association, or system, there is WRONG, FAULT, and a WHAT-IF on your side! However, many of us have become so self-righteous and blinded by wanting to be correct, elevating our own arguments while criticizing others, and trying to force our way and will on other people, that we have created what we see today – a divided mess! Like lost sheep without a shepherd, trying to do our own thing, yet don’t know where we are going…. We want to be heard and get the last word. Everyone is talking, but no one wants to listen. A misguided mess, indeed!
Speaking of shepherds – can I tell you a little secret? GOD DOES NOT TAKE SIDES! Whether if you use Him as a crutch to justify why things should go a certain direction, of if you use Him as a weapon to convince them otherwise, neither is absolute. The only “side”, if that is even an applicable term, that He honors is His Word, what HE said, and your OBEDIENCE to it. Contrary to popular belief, we have ALL missed that mark. Neither “side” can say it is totally about Him because it is a SIDE, which means the foundation is already biased. Instead, what we must do is remain objective and use His WORD (and examples of how situations played out, since He is still the same) as our stance and example. That is where you will find Him. Remember, promotion doesn’t come from the east or the west, but from above…
Reader, if we do not remove our focus from who is on the left or the right of us, and stop being driven by emotion each time a distracting movement is made by each side, we will see the true meaning of self-destruction…
© 2017 International Kendra
International Kendra 