“… when I was a child, I spoke as a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child …”
What are “childish things”? They are behaviors and mindsets that are commonly found in someone that is irresponsible, unwise, double-minded, and immature. Can you name a few? I sure can… misplaced priorities (i.e. paying for your vacation before your rent/mortgage), quitting a job because the child support agency finally caught up with you, refusing to contribute to the monthly groceries with your roommates because of the two nights you decided to eat out last month, mocking the misfortune of a person whose car skidded on a patch of black ice during a blizzard…
Those are obvious, right? Well, let’s go further… What about Unforgiveness – can that be considered a “childish” thing?
So many of us talk about Forgiveness, but have no real concept of what it is, how it works, or the power that it possesses.
Forgiveness means that you release a person from debt or vengeance from whatever wrong s/he committed against you, even if they never ask for it. However, it does NOT guarantee or obligate reconciliation and it does NOT mean that you must leave the door open for the same thing to happen again…
We have all been emotionally wounded or disappointed at some point in our lives, including dating relationships. We will let go of the offense and move on, but there are just as many people who are determined to hold on to that grudge, refusing to let it go and be free. Years will pass and, during a casual conversation, your colleague causally makes mention of your previous partner. As if on cue, you immediately replay the situation as if it occurred minutes before, rekindling the flames of the past, forfeiting another day’s peace or night’s rest because of your grip on an old wound. Meanwhile, your ex has released you and the pain of the incident, and is enjoying life.
A more destructive pattern of Unforgiveness is of what we refuse to give to ourselves. Many of us suffer self-inflicted guilt, defeat, and blame for what we’ve done to ourselves or to other people. Indeed, the act may have negatively affecting all parties involved, but if you are alive to see another day, and have been forgiven by your Father, you must, for your sake, learn to forgive yourself – even if the ones you hurt have not yet granted forgiveness to you. Yes. Now, this is not a license to manipulate grace or take advantage of the situation, but it is a time for you to repent, grow, and work on the only one that you can change – you.
If you are on this Earth, you will experience pain and disappointment in life. Your partner WILL say or do something that hurts or angers you just as YOU will say or do something that hurts or angers your partner. More than likely, it will be nonintentional, so choose your battles wisely. Every word or action is not worthy of a response – however, if it is, consider your words, tone, and mood before you do. No matter what, by all means, FORGIVE – let it go and move on.
How? One day at a time. One step at a time. The breakdown did not happen in an instant, so the restoration will take time as well. Life has taught me that it is those small things – the faith steps – that have the greatest impact in our lives. A house is made up of many parts, a cake is made from many ingredients. So it is with rebuilding and recovering – they are comprised of many small steps, leading us to our destined place. The important thing is to keep going, and keep growing.
Now that you are a man (or a woman), it is time to put away childish things…
© 2017 International Kendra
International Kendra 